The lie in truth’s clothing

Don’t believe a single word her crooked mouth spits out. Cheat, sham, deceit is all you can make out.
Welcome dejection with open arms when it dawns on you that a black heart is no longer a metaphor, that the embodiment of evil and perversion lives to destroy and destroys to survive.
The death of the unwary, of the misled fool. Smiles like mirages. Her eyes? Glance into the abyss. A million furious cries, a million poisoned curses, a million desperate screams for fear of justice not showing up this time. Because it never does when it’s most needed.

At times I forget how much pain she’s caused, but I can clearly see it in her eyes. I still remember the reasons why I will always get back up again, but I will never be able to stop limping. I will never be able to forget the true face of pretended love, the feeling of uncertainty, the wish to smash my fist on the table or on your face or on my own. Losing appetite, losing the will to go sleep, losing the will to ever wake up again.

But it’s time. Hunt her now, she must go down.
Repent, sinner, you’re going down.

Anchors

It is not your voice in my head anymore. It’s the desperate cries for your love, of my own. Twice the misery, twice my failure. Twice the pain, twice my loss. But there’s still room for hope in this wicked heart and there’s more and better to come. Or at least that’s what storytellers remind me in my sleep. So I’ll keep sailing this ocean of void.

Come

Come here, my darling. I love you and I promise it won’t hurt as much as you hurt me.
Come closer, lover. I like you and I swear I’ll make it quick, there’s no point in trying to flee.
Come and let me love you one last time, feel the cold steel, remember me forever in eternal sleep.

Come here, my darling. I love you and I’m telling you, you deserve this, I deserve this.
Come closer, lover. I like you and I’d like you to feel my breath as you exhale your last.
Come and let me love you forever, feel it crush your heart, as you crushed me.

Come here, my darling. I love you and there’s nothing I wouldn’t give up to see you smile as you cry.
Come closer, lover. I like you and I’m craving for your dripping blood.
Come and let me love you like I once did, feel my passion smite you, hold my hands and close your eyes.

Come here, my darling. I love you and this our last chance, these are our last days and hours.
Come closer, lover. I like you and my mind is going mad with this agony.
Come now sleep forever in my arms, I will hold you tightly, I will never let you die.

This void

This emptiness, this helplessness. I wonder, have you ever felt this way? Well, if you haven’t, it’s pretty simple to explain. Just try and think of the exact opposite things you’d pretend to feel those days. This sadness, this hopelessness. I wonder, will you ever realise the real mistake was to repress it, not to have felt that way?

Someday headlines will bring worst news to you. Regret is all that’s left. A life of misery, for you’ll never know better. This thought is all that’s left, for me…

This void, it’s killing me and it’s killing you in me. It has your name and your black eyes, it has your cold blood and your face, this nothingness…

Wasted love

Wasted love,
wasted youth,
wasted time,
wasted care.

Wasted love,
wasted bliss,
wasted dreams,
wasted nightmares.

Will we ever feel this feeling?
Will we ever make our hearts slow down?
Will we ever realise what’s going on
and make room for a life with no letdowns?

Waste my love,
waste my youth,
waste my time,
I won’t care.

Waste your love,
waste our bliss,
waste my dreams,
they’re but nightmares.

Will you ever feel this feeling?
Will you ever make your heart speed up?
Will you ever realise what’s going on
and make room for a life with no letdowns?

—

Every day gone past is a drop of my blood you drain,
every inch of my skin rots helplessly,
though I try and swear to myself I won’t let you,
I won’t let you taste my tears.

Every handful of love I promise you
is just another wasted release
of dreams, of thoughts of precious years,
of endless nights hand in hand, heart in heart.

And I’ve got nothing left but this disaffection:
you let me down, I let you down,
but truth be told you’ll never know better than me.

Every minute hurts like neverending…
every second is an endless night,
every night will make me wonder
will I ever see you smile.

Your lips

Your lips on my lips
are a thousand scarlet wishes
lost in rusty magic lamps,
suddenly made true.

Your lips on my lips
feel like clouds for sleeping in,
the perfect stage for my sweetest dreams.

So pardon me if I seem absent-minded,
when my mind’s on your lips
and your lips near my lips.

Your eyes

Your eyes in my eyes

are my thoughts through your head,

myself in your sleep,

made-up stories of that longed-for place,

hand in hand without a care

in the world, no mistakes,

just a legacy of moments

never tainted, never stained.

For your eyes in my eyes

are my dreams in your mind,

I can make up what you’re thinking

and don’t care if it’s not real.

Though I wake up.

But I’ll never wake up.

Together

Together we float like clouds, we’re the desert waves. Together we break silence, we speak in tongues and we sleep in. Sleep in, my child, for the storm will catch us soon, for chaos will break loose. Break even, go back home. Close my eyes and teach me to feel pain the way you do. Teach me words nobody speaks, teach me love, teach me to fly and fly with me. Fly with me and look ahead, the future makes me sick, but the past scares me to death. Why weren’t you there? Did you ever think of the suffering I suffer when I’m blind? When we stare and just stay mute? When birds long for tomorrow but the storm forces them retreat? Together we float like clouds, we’re birds without wings, but don’t fear, my lover, we’ll recover, we’ll make it home, we’ll rest forever. Together.

War

Crows feasting on my heart. I know you sent them, their black wings reflect the abyss in your soul. They have no purpose, no feelings, no love. Like your words, like your voice. They fly in, they scavenge and go. Like your words, like your voice…

And then I’d better get ready again for this war. At your signal they’ll attack and will leave my rotting remains stranded like you once left me too: no legs, no arms, no eyes, no love. So stop your appalling attacks, before you’ve taken more than you can, because there’s only one thing that’s for sure: one day I’ll survive and that day when the black sky falls, I’ll haunt you like the scariest storm. I’ll stand up and believe that for once I have a chance to destroy your love. The debris of what once was, I won’t clean I won’t get rid of. I’ll leave them forever in you, in your thoughts, in your mind, in your eyes, in your soul. To make your existence a burden for you. To make this burden drown you in the flood. In the flood of rage I will cause in your home. In the house you made out of my bones. My bones: full of you, full of love. Full of me, full of none of your words.

Please don’t say anything, because everything’s done. There’s no future no more, there’s no words, no excuse that’ll save you, there’s no future no more. And be ready, ’cause the war won’t stop, it won’t stop ’til you’re gone, it won’t end ’til you’re begging, ’til you’re wishing I was no more than smoke. The smoke in your eyes, in your lungs, in your throat. The smoke that’ll kill you, not me, no more. The smoke of your lies, of the pain that you caused. Death will chase ’til you’re gone, ’til you’re done, ’til you’re no more than ash and some scattered bones…

This is my revenge, this is vengeance, this is the fucking end.